Amanda

grrrrrr

2003-04-08T00:02:31Z

ok, so the show went fantabulous this weekend, but now i am sitting here in this god-forsaken Astronomy lab, which would be my last, had i not missed one, thank you Blaka-licious!! aaaaahhhh! I hope this doesnt last long....well I'm officially still loved by Seaside music theatre because they are hiring me for another summer for THREE shows...wooo!! and holly and walter will be there, it'll be a mad FSU-FEST!! good times.
yesterday I was rescued by my dear kristin and shane and shown the wonders of the world, one in particular...along with a trip to winn-dixie and Lake Ella...puuuuurty it was.
Caught Crimes of the Heart, decent show, good times....
still behind in school work, much to read for the damn indian class, got a C on an Astronomy test, i was sure i knew that crap!! grrrr
but life is happy, i have summer work...LOTS of it!! and its gonna be fuuuuuuun as all heck! muah to you lester, even though you took A MONTH to get back to me....eh. I cant complain...
but ill be HOME to see my friends through the course of this working...happy aspect of it all, rather than take class heeere..ew..
i need to get better for my music school audition...definately a must...
definately a must...

lilactnnole5 @ 2003-04-03T09:04:00

2003-04-03T13:59:27Z

Its been a looooooong day,

And I'm covered in paper mache.

yea. i rhymed!

yeah ok, so SORRY to all about the April Fools pranks,,,cher....i had you going! but seriously...me? a lesbian? not as long as hot men like Brad and Ben are alive. Not a Chance!!

but all kidding aside....today i worked with REALLY underprivileged middle schoolers in the ghetto and taught them to write plays!!! yeah!! in like an hour! yeah! so i had LaTonya, Laquinta AKA Sady (pronounced Shaw-tay....like a slang form of "shorty"...think about that) and Abraham....yes they were all black, and no they didnt want to take instruction from a little white college girl about how to "make choices". SO amanda used her humor and wonderful imitation skills and was telling them to write about ANY choice they want and said "well....Tupac CHOSE to fake his death then come back to make million dollar records to keep profits.." AND OFF WE WENT....It was AMAZING!! These kids had so much to say and think about and it was totally gratifying....yes....scary A LOT at first and throughout but we all did a good job and it was wonderful!!

on the Paper Mache note....we just built our set for Bald Soprano, i cant BELIEVE we open in two days!! alas, my hair will not be black....keepin it real, so to speak, but its all gonna look awesome and be SO SCARY!! and yet so funny! our publicity photos are just rockin and although im runnin on a half-tank, its aaaaall good!

Got my Music school audition in two weeks.....ay-yi-yi

THANKS TO ALL FOR WONDERFUL COMMENTS THE OTHER DAY!! YOU ALL ARE BEEEEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!! MUAH!! i really did feel like poo but now im rejuvinated!! yes!! go life!! I did a little prayin and the weather is beautiful!!

OH and I, yes MOI, simply said in my nasty boring "indians in the US" class, "We are going outside for class today!!"" and my professor looked and without skipping a beat said "OKAY!" so we had a discussion out on Landis Green!! HAHAH!!! Amanda has POWER YES SHE DOES!! this was totally courtesy of my ever proud roomie, Katie, who pulled a successful class transfer maneuver earlier in the year, and so i dared and WON!

Astronomy is still poo but i think i did decent on the test.....famous last words.....

still no word from SMT...gettin nervous....(bites nails, then realizes she doesnt bite her nails...)

I have acting tomorrow with sweet boy....saw him today and flirted a tad....JUST a tad ;)

its ALMOST summer and ALMOST the weekend and its ALMOST time to pass out to dreamland so GNIGHT ALL!

OH AND ON MY LUNCHTIME TUESDAY!!
a winner? ok now, as far as guys are concerned, I am one to get my little hopes up then something always falls through, then great things come out of thin air. well the thin air has seeped from my acting class. a boy....a man....i have befriended through our acting class. the stats: almost twenty-one, an actor, a STRAIGHT actor, originally from New York, quite handsome- dark hair- looks italian- built pretty nicely-honestly, SWEET (just bought me a friendly lunch at the Loop- a not so cheap lunch site), holds down a steady job at Carrabas...soon to be promoted to a manager position, lives alone with a DOG- yes a DOG woo!!, loves football....could this be too good to be true?? And i have seen him progress in our acting class from a shy guy with potential to jumping at volunteer opportunities. Hes level headed and charming, and he really listens whe we chat and really pays attention! The beauty is he didnt come out of thin air necesarily because i know him from acting and right now we are building a little friendship...always promising!

SO im not getting hopes up...im busy...its the end of the year...but one can observe and take note right? the weather is back to beeeeautiful outside and i have a SHOW THIS WEEKEND AHHHH.....going black haired tonight....scary....hopefully itll work in the first place....hmmmm....oh well, WE SHALL SEEE!!!

fun laughs...good times....

ok well still have lots of work to do, but im in such a mood to get things done now!! who knew!! thank you new boy...for you are a friend now....woo!

still waiting on seaside.....dorks.....grrrrrr shant know until tomorrow at the earliest....AHHHHH

weres the comment love people???? this is getting depressing all you busy people with lives!!! lets make it happen!!

life is poo at times

2003-03-30T05:32:39Z

SOOOO

last night didnt end until 5am and technically i didnt get back to my dorm until 9am- NO it was NOT a walk of shame, but it LOOKED like one. To my surprise, I just ended up at Meagan's and we spend the night, which was lovely, only so i could wake up at 9 for a TEN AM rehearsal aaaaaahhhhh grrrr..

Played football AND raquetball with my BFA boys...good times, burning calories is good. I just am in this weird funk where all i am thinking about is my body and everything wrong with it. Slimfast shakes during the week and then i have miserable failing points to my willpower, like last night ending up at MacDonalds- where i havent been in like a YEAR.

So this all leads to me being lonely, but not even confident enough to really look in the mirror anymore, let alone considering trying to find a boy to hook up with or even flirt with. Its so weird. Its never bothered me to this extent before. I think it was spring break and seeing people getting into the summer spirit here and i dont have time to go lay out or even really work out with my schedule, which im not humoring as i should. like right now. I should be studying since im wasting a night i could be out with, but not- im here, typing, like a loser. i admit it. so i just want someone to cuddle with or to appreciate me as a woman, but at the same time, i wouldnt want that because i dont feel worthy as a woman right now...does that make sense? well it does to me and it feels like crap.

i wanna crawl in a hole and disappear.

I want to just have my schoolwork done so i can work on my performance classes and show but not that crap i dont care about. ugh. life. thats what they say. im trying to be positive because i dont want this to be complaints, but it really just comes down to what we're feeling and im feeling like i want to not be here right now. Uncomfortable is the word. really uncomfortable

juuuuuuuuuuust kidding!

2003-03-27T05:22:17Z

ok, i may have seemed a little exagerrate about the NO MORE LIVEJOURNAL stuff but im still gonna post here, im just gonna post at xanga too cuz im a loser and all my friends are there, EXCEPT FOR THE WONDERFUL SHANE AND BLAKE- my CONSISTANT posting friends, everyone else you all need to catch up on the fun! woo! ok well just went kareoke-ing and had a blast and a half, with my lova blake and meagan of course...blake and i have become attached at the hip....if he turns straight we have to get married....its law. i know, weirdo. ok well im tired and have acting tomorrow which i dont want to but i promised a lunch date to this guy in my class and dont wanna be mean....:) love to all!

keeping up

2003-03-26T04:02:21Z

This is a little late, because I've joined the Xanga community because more people love me there, but anyway, I dont want to burn bridges here because there are some great words spoken by my friends here; therefore, posting here will compel me to be able to read the entries of my creative friends..

ANYWAY...

WHERE DO I BEGIN???

I guess to explain my crazy fun night is by this equation...Funny awards with PLENTY of celebrities to make fun of PLUS bad chinese food PLUS crazy theatre people EQUALS darn good time! The rest lies in the quotes...

To begin, lets take a look at amanda and blakes football venture earlier in the day...

BLAKE: "AMANDA AMANDA THROW A PROUD MARY! PROUD MARY!"

AMANDA: "its HAIL Mary, you dumb gay man."

Lets trot to BEFORE the ceremonies to our opening of Chinese fortunes...

BLAKE: "Be practical? What does that mean?"

Morgan: "Spank once, not twice!"

ON to discussing the terrible loss of body mass among our entertainment role models...

Amanda: "RENEE! Eat a carrot. somebody get her something. some oxygen."

Meagan: "trust me, i know all the tricks to eating disorders."

Blake: "god made me fat, so i ate cotton for a year."

Can I describe the amazingness of the show?? Queen Latifah and a ready-to-pop Catherine rockin Broadway style, then loosing to EMINEM! EMINEM!! HA! Adrian Brody, I want to have your children. He made out with Hally Berry, SHUT UP the orchestra, and made everyone cry, again and again... And the little man from the documentary denounced Bush and our country... thanks so much! AAAAnnd of course CHICAGO TAKIN IT HOME BOOO-YAH! HA!

"I have an oscar....and a pre-nup..." -Blake as Catherine Zeta Jones' inner voice...

Aaaaand on the final catagory...

All: "whos gonna win?" Morgan:"it might very well be the peenist!' blake: "and its huuuuuuuuuge!"

Kathy Bates is our hero when saying "every time an oscar goes out, an angel gets his wings."

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand the finale of OUR night is upon learning of our troupes almost getting caught by the lights of their computers, of which they covered with ponchos....

Blake: "now THATs high tech. ponchos."

MAN I LOVE YOU GUYS I AM SO BLESSED WITH SUCH AWESOME FRIENDS!

And PS kids, Amanda was just called and offered an internship for this summer that PAYS mucho dinero and I dont know who "recommended" me for it but RANDOM! woo! lets see. ok its time to go to bed! gnight all go chicago! bless our troupes!

done

2003-03-21T22:09:54Z

well folks, my livejournal fun has come to an end....well, not really, but im switching to Xanga cuz more of my friends are on there and they comment on entries and acknowledge the good that i write about and funny things and its more of a gratifying experience over there. so cest la vie!

chillin as much

2003-03-21T04:55:37Z

well, after last night's fiasco, things calmed today with things in perspective. I made a "have you..." list posted in front of me to keep me praying and controlling myself. Have so much to do tomorrow, from performing to rehearsal to touring to movies to aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh....might just nix it all.
Today was a sight, i felt like in the middle of Forrest Gump with angry IGNORANT students outside protesting for peace. I know I sound mean and bitter but they dont know whats really going on and all they hear is "war" and think our government is full of killers when thats what were trying to put down. grow up people. face the world. puh-lease!
Im really happy with the Bald Soprano and my directing scene, for how much we've rehearsed. Granted, i wish i looked better in the dress i wear but thats comin along soon enough! it shall be done!!
I passed a clep test today! yay! not more History for meeeee! soooo happy about this, really i AM! ha!
I still am a blessed girl with a family at home that loves and supports me, friends that love and support me, and a God that loves and supports me. i know everything happens for a reason, whether its global war or getting a role here at FSU. Its all for a reason, i swear.
Now, off to read about native americans that i dont care about, but im going to try. i keep seeing Stela calling my name from the shelf in front of me and i long to answer her, but no time no time!! aaahhhh!
ok gnight

so then

2003-03-20T04:45:09Z

Blake: "fruit has carbs"
Amanda: "so does my LIFE!"
mua ha ha ha.
Well, kids, we're going to war. I have mixed feelings on this issue. I really dont like the idea of lots of innocent people dying over there, but ya know what? they are already dying over there at the hands of that damn dictator and he needs to be shut down once and for all. Our boys volunteered for what they are doing and I dont think that Iraq is a match for our military anyway so this isnt going to last as long as we think. But thats just my opinion so I've said it. So yeah, Bush messes up a lot in his speeches, but i think this is a decision that wasnt made overnight so i wish everyone would stop acting like it was. Its our safety our boys are out there for and we'll be thankful when we wake up and the rest of our cities are standing and our air is not polluted with gases that they could foist on us. So, thats my piece. Of course, I pray for those going over there and those who will be affected by it directly but this is inevitable.

At the same time I have been hit with the same bomb that hits me about myself time and time again....my selfish personality. As much as I am aware of it and whole-heartedly wanting to change, it never pulls through. My roomie has brought my selfish behavior to my attention in the same fashion that I got from my friends at home and of course, my family, who never fails to throw it at me. But alert, i saw this with gratefulness because otherwise i keep on doing my thing not knowing that I am hurting people or at least annoying them to all hell! When are we - i- ever gonna learn? it worries me because of the extremely selfish profession that i am in and especially how ive been acting with all this auditioning and getting roles and stuff lately. i resort to my childhood behavior, which is so damn frustrating and i know it is wrong and i am AWARE which blows things out of proportion! ahhh!
ok well i cant vent like this online....i need to talk to someone....shall find someone to listen...maybe God, that works....
god bless america and pray for those in the middle east right now...

spring break

2003-03-17T21:41:42Z

well, im back. what a break. i mean, nothing evolutionary or crazy happened, but I got to hang with people that truly made me happy. I regained a friendship I had lost through a relationship and it feels so good and natural to have it back. It was meant to be. Everything DOES happen for a reason.
I've been kind of separated from the war lately, and its only hitting me now after my aunts attempt to slap my faith succeeded. Shes good at getting her point across, even when i can read it coming.
Nevertheless, i have a lot to do, but now the stamina to do it. I sat down to read today and was cool with it. I can memorize lines without procrastinating! its a new me!
I've realized that i dont need a BFA to work on my body or worry about my acting...i can do that on my own with the stress all in its own. I love just being able to take charge of my schedule.
now to decide about double majoring....and find a straight boy to cuddle with. thats all i want right now. really.

lilactnnole5 @ 2003-03-14T21:06:00

2003-03-15T02:27:43Z

ok, so im sitting here with my lovely cousin and his girlfriend standing over my shoulder while i purge in jealousy after seeing her pictures from the Tim McGraw concert cuz she was close enough to see his nose hairs. or as clint would say... "get his hot sweat all over her body...with extra pickles and a side of sweet and sour sauce" thats verbaitim folks....really....
anyway, went to Islands of Adventure with too many people including the ex....sure, good times. got a sunburn and a headache in exchange for some thrills and good times. woo.
off to auditions tomorrow...who cares? not me.
then back to tally...thanks to the lord! friends! freedom! yaaaaaaaaaaaay!
ok thats it im tired. gnight.

la la laaaa

2003-03-13T23:24:22Z

yes well i have this whole house on the beach to myself and nothing to do but clean it and do homework...yea cuz i really wanna do that right....
sooooooooooo im still excited about going to universal studios tomorrow although i still feel fat and out of shape here on spring break. so those who are my friends push me at school to get into shape!! if i back down, dont let mee!!! ahhh!
still looking for a ride back to tally in the first place...grrr... oh well hope for the best!

toast

2003-03-11T22:25:43Z

ok pale amanda plus sun equals LOBSTER WOMAN AHHHH! poo oh poo. well i got sun and a burn but my week is even more fun from here on in! going to jenna's games in orlando tomorrow and thursday after seeing clints game tonight wooo!! then friday going to Universal Studios with my crew~ woo! went shopping today and got cute clothes in hopes to wear clubbin tomorrow, my only issue in life is a ride back to Tallahassee on Sunday ahhh! ok well any takers? going once? twice....mmmmkay thanks

sun!!!!

2003-03-11T15:28:16Z

yaaaaaaaaaaay! its sunny! yeah, now that i'm burned from yesterday....ugh grrrr. oh well its ok
goin to the mall with sarah, fun times when auntie says, "go to the mall and get yourself an outfit or something..you have your card..." HA! yes love that
am going to Islands of Adventures with the crew on friday yaaaaaaaaaaay and then SMT audition on saturday! yaaaaaaay! things are looking up!
whoopee! well, now that im in high spirits, lets keep it this way before i think of anything negative to write...!

and the thunder rolled

2003-03-10T16:28:06Z

this weather is retarded. this is florida. DAYTONA BEACH! spring break! i coulda stayed in Tali for this weather!! grrrr i wanna go play on the beach!! and poooo.
thats all i have to say right now because im just whining...waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

stolen survey (thanks shane)

2003-03-09T18:17:57Z

Stolen Survey
[ x ] Spell your first name backwards - adnama
[ x ] The story behind your lj user name - its self explanitory....little acting seminole...abbreviated!!
[ x ] Are you a lesbian - not the last time i checked
[ x ] Where do you live - tally
```DESCRIBE YOUR```

[ x ] Wallet - black leather that folds over and clips with a magnet
[ x ] Hairbrush - round with aqua rubbery handle
[ x ] Toothbrush - pink and white
[ x ] Jewelry worn daily - usually some kind of silver necklace
[ x ] Pillow cover - flowered, cartoony red, pink, and black
[ x ] Blanket - matched pillows
[ x ] Coffee cup - piano mug
[ x ] Sunglasses - none right now, its RAINING
[ x ] Underwear - varied
[ x ] shoes - sneakers, boots or flip flops
[ x ] bag - different purses or black satchel
[ x ] Favorite shirt - tank tops with built in bras!
[ x ] Cologne/Perfume - turquiose seas body spray
[ x ] CD in stereo right now - tori amos
[ x ] Tattoos - none
[ x ] Piercing - closed ears
[ x ] What you are wearing now - pjs
[ x ] Hair - dark blond
[ x ] Makeup - remnants of last night...almost shower time!

```WHO or WHAT (was/is/are)```
[ x ] In my mouth - my toungue
[ x ] In my head - a song
[ x ] Wishing - for it to be SUNNY!
[ x ] After this - chill with boredom
[ x ] Talking to - myself
[ x ] Eating - pastrami wrap
[ x ] If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason - lyle lovitt- for being ugly.
[ x ] Person you wish you could see right now-- my bf lauren
[ x ] Is next to you -a calander
[ x ] Some of your favorite movies - waiting for guffman, etc.[ x ] Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month - my show!
[ x ] The last thing you ate - pastrami and baked lays
[ x ] Something that you are deathly afraid of- cockroaches
[ x ] Do you like candles - Yup
[ x ] Do you like hot wax - yup
[ x ] Do you like incense - no, too much
[ x ] Do you like the taste of blood - ew
[ x ] Do you believe in love - absolutely
[ x ] Do you believe in soul mates - yes i do
[ x ] Do you believe in love at first sight - perhaps
[ x ] Do you believe in Heaven - yes
[ x ] Do you believe in forgiveness - Yes, but not forgetting
[ x ] What do you want done with your body when you die - um... to be buried...
[ x ] Who is your worst enemy - time
[ x ] If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be - a man
[ x ] What is the latest you've ever stayed up - like 2 days
[ x ] Can you eat with chopsticks - yup!
[ x ] What are 5 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to - NYC, somewhere in Hawaii, Chicago, back to San Diego, and Philly
[ x ] What's something you wish you could understand better - my ex boyfriend
[ x ] Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time - hmmm i make time to see people i miss!

hmmmm

2003-03-09T14:46:40Z

ok so I'm home...and bored, as i knew i would be. I have to now make the effort to see who i wanna see...decide if i wanna party with anyone here, even dare touch THAT scene...ew. Hung out with someone from my past that I never thought i would have a conversation with, but we talked plenty and it was very reassuring that all in the world is not meant for nothing...as we watched "signs"--goooo figure! I want to go to church but i dont wanna get dressed. We only have 2 cars here, one of which is not dependable...poo. and i am bored now. blaaaaaaaaaahhh

home

2003-03-08T06:56:35Z

well, im home and up because my uncle had car trouble an hour away and the fam here had to go and get him....tough stuff. so im up thinking about my schooling next year....can i get together a music audition to be a double major? will i get into a SHOW and prove them all wrong?? i hope i hope i hope. Hung out with adrienne tonight, wonderful! much needed, watched Waiting for Guffman and Best of Show together, pure craziness....looooove it all!
I need some action, kids...soon. im here, and i need, especially if its gonna be crappy weather all during break...poo.
hmmmmmm

another dumb quiz

2003-03-08T06:52:37Z

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

goin home

2003-03-07T05:05:00Z

i feel like im missing something....am i missing something?? oh yeah my FSU card in a copy machine at the music library! DANG IT! i gotta wake my ass up and go get it then finish getting ready then go to Indian class, which is EXACTLY what i want to do tomorrow morning....as does everyone else, right?? yeah hes gonna get his when NO ONE wants to be there, as if we ever do!
listening to a random weird Tori CD right now...its kinda freaky.
rehearsals for the Bald Soprano are QUITE interesting because Nick (director) is all about the process, which is way creative. We are going LINE BY LINE because its ionesco and hard as crap.
ugh grrrr. i wanna go home. now.

one more...

2003-03-07T04:59:28Z

SO IM A GODDES! MUAHAHAH!

You are a goddess!

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

fact of childhood

2003-03-06T14:20:03Z

funny i scored this Vampire profile....my mom was gonna take me to the auditions for Claudia in the "Interview with a vampire" movie when i was like 8 in California. funny world....

Pedophile's Dream Vampire

What type of vampire are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

some more....

2003-03-06T14:17:20Z

so im innocent, yet a psycho??

Lady Macbeth

Which woman of Shakespeare are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

little test

2003-03-06T14:16:11Z

so im innocent???? mmmkay.....

Innocent

What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

spring break

2003-03-06T14:11:33Z

ok, so until about 15 minutes ago, i was not all that hyped about spring break...i have my routine and im not that stressed to go home with everything i have going on here. but THEN i was listening to Josh groban, thinking of my bestest friend Adrianne and got SO SAD missing my friends, family, and home life. wow! so i need to focus today and get all my crap done so i can have a smooth break and get work done at the same time.
folks, its the little things ya gotta love. cant wait to go home!

stolen

2003-03-05T04:20:05Z

So just steal some more of my ego, my heart, my soul. you think that your opinions are going to change what i do? no, dont think so for a minute. if you think the opinions of one or two people are going to delegate how i use what god gave me, you are so wrong. so send your letters of meaningless drivel with recommendations on how ELSE to continue my path without your precious guidance. you make me angry, but you dont make me weak. you make me hurt, but you make me aching for more. ill just have to show you the hard way, like those before me that i dont need you or your damn christmas parties. FEEL THAT BELIEVABILITY! yeah.

we all know who this is to, and we know they will never read this, but there it is. its been a long long day, but i am grateful for it. i woke up healthy, and although a little charbroilled since about 5:50 pm, in good frame of mind through rehearsal for a show i love, and back here to sort out my pride and priorities.

so now to plan things for the better of me.